21 Types of Dudes I Don't Like

((Created this last year....Funny stuff lol))

SO..I'VE BEEN REALLY FED UP WiTH DUDES LATELY, SO i HAVE COMPiLED A LiST OF THE TYPES OF *N-WORDS* I DON'T LiKE, BASED UPON WHAT I HAVE SEEN AND EXPERIENCED **THEY ARE iN NO PARTiCULAR ORDER**

[1] DEAD BEAT BABY DADDY N's This pretty much speaks for itself! I mean, why you tryin to holla and your recent ex is pregnant with YOUR child?! You need to be with HER! ...And you probably still in High School...I'mma need you to work on your life a little more!

[2] WANNABE THUG N's Why are you trying to be hard all the time! I mean, really, it is NOT necessary! And ya'll always screamin out "No Homo"; I mean why do you need to reinforce your heterosexuality like you are AFRAiD to be gay and you are trying to convince yourself that you are still into women!

[3] THE "DON'T YOU GOT A GiRL" N's Why are you tryin to holla? I saw you hangin' out with your girl not too long ago, which makes me ask "Don't You Got A Girl?!"....And then he simply replies: "Naw, shawty. Whatchu talkin bout? I'm tryin to holla atchu." ....Umm, No boo boo, I don't want you....

[4] OLD A** N's You know...The ones between the ages of 30-45 that are dressing like they are a teenager, like they are from "the hood", or "down with the Hip Hop Generation"..And then some of them try to holla at young girls!! Um, no hunny, you need to dress your age and date women your age, because you look SLACK right now!

[5] DRUNK/HIGH N's Why are ya'll always getting f'd up?!?! Don't you have anything else better to do with your time? ..Or maybe you just don't have a job...

[6] "i'M BALLiN" N's Why do you wear all these name brand clothes and drive a cadillac with rims to try to prove to outside people that you got money, but secretly you live in a cardboard box! ...And these are the same N's that throw money in the club!!! ...We know how you got that money...If you were a REAL MAN, then you would invest the money that you threw in the club in the BANK!

[7] DESPERATE N's I just said NO!! Get out of my face!! Stop trying so hard and please get a life...And while you are at it, work on your game...

[8] HiGH SCHOOL DROPOUT N's You know, the ones that always seemed to get in fights and get expelled from school...Then they end up sitting around the house doing nothing, standing on the corner of some random street, or you seem to find them flippin burgers at McDonalds...Wow, your life must suck..

[9] ARROGANT N's Why do you always think that your stuff don't stink?! I mean really..you are not all that, so stop talking about yourself. And stop bragging about what you got or how you packin (because you may not be "all that" anyways)!

[10] WANNABE KOBE/LEBRON N's Just because you *think* you can play basketball, doesn't mean you are going to go pro! You are NOT that talented!

[11] MYSPACE/FACEBOOK N's Why is it that you are always trying to talk to me over the internet, but when you see me in public, you don't speak?! Be ReaL! *DELETE*

[12] BOOTY CALL N's Why are you callin me 11 o' clock at night, asking me what I'm doing and if we gonna get together tonight. N**** I AM IN MY BED SLEEPING!

[13] UGLY N's WHO THINK THEY ARE FiNE Why are you all up in my face?! My face is going to melt, because your breath is STANK!! And your game ain't right either! Don't think you can walk up to me with your dreads lookin like an old dirty mop! Before you step to me again, I'mma need you to brush your teeth and look in the mirror to try to fix your face!!

[14] WANNABE RAPPER N's We all know you CAN'T RAP! So stop standing in front of Wal Mart or the mall with a pack of burnt CDs, tryin to get all up in my face, tellin me you gonna go platinum! I know you're not, so stop wasting my time! ...Now this is the route the High School Dropout N's take...

[15] THE N's THAT ALWAYS TRYiN TO HOLLA We know who you are....Going to the mall to *try* to find your new boo, but in result, you get rejected. Ya'll are the ones that stalk the girls in the mall, sayin "Psssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssst.....PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSST....AY!....AY GIRL!!" ...What in the world?! Stop "Psst"in at me!!! It's already annoying turning around every 10 seconds to see you walking right behind me! ...And then when I tell you I don't wanna talk to you, you gonna call me a B***H!! LOL

[16] THE N's THAT CAN'T KEEP THEiR MOUTH SHUT Why are you always talking?! Always up in other people's business!! Then you spread out their business including YOUR OWN!! ...I'mma need for you to get a L-I-F-E, instead of living in other people's lives! And while you are at it, glue your mouth SHUT!

[17] iNDECiSiVE N's Ya'll know who these dudes are!! The ones that try to talk to you and your best friend at the SAME TiME! And this dude would be even more LAME if he didn't even know ya'll were friends in the first place!! And then these are the same dudes that use the SAME PiCKUP LiNE on every girl!! I'mma need for you to get it together..

[18] LAME N's Why are you asking my friend about ME when you can talk to me YOURSELF! ..And this also goes for the dudes that get their HOMEBOYS to come talk to me FOR YOU! ....Grow some balls please!!

[19] THE "WHY YOU GOTTA TOUCH ME" N's Why do you feel that after 5 seconds of talking to me (literally) that you have to touch me?!?! Whether it is on my shoulder, my arm, my hand, or around my waist--you are STiLL touching me!! Get your nasty hands off me! I don't know where you have been! ..And this also includes ALL THE N'S IN THE CLUB THAT FEEL THAT THEY CAN TOUCH YOUR BUTT AS YOU WALK PAST THEM!!

[20] PiCKUP LiNE N's Why are you using those same, tired lines to try to holla at me!! And you always keep tellin me that I'm pretty/beautiful/sexy! I know that I am already, especially since I heard that from the LAST GUY that tried to talk to me! Shoot, compliment me on how beautiful my eyes are! ...I'mma need you to get out my face and learn how to be ORiGiNAL!

[21] THE "i WANNA GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER" N's Now, these are the dudes that look fine/sexy/cute! They are the ones that seem to "got it goin on". I know some of you have fell for these dudes, because they are the ones with that smooth game! They make you feel like you are the center of attention and they are the ones that say "I wanna know all about you". They ask you all the important questions of what your major is, what school you go to, where you are from, your likes, etc. ...You are soo caught up in the moment that you soon realize, he does NOT want to know all about who YOU are--He wants to know all about WHAT'S IN YOUR PANTS! We have PLENTY of these dudes walkin around thinkin it is CUTE to go talk to her, her, her, her, her best friend, her cousin, and her sister!! I sympathize with the girls who have fell for these types of dudes, because they make you feel like you're special and then after they had you, they THROW YOU IN THE DIRT! These also include the guys that, like Gucci Mane said, "Beat her like a dog, then pass her to [his] dog"! ...Now tell me WHERE on my body does it say E-A-S-Y?! Because I DEFINITELY AM a woman of CLASS, STANDARDS, and POISE! I am NOT one of those girls that have no MoRaLs or ValuEs that run around throwing themselves at dudes, because they are fine/sexy/cute! I am BETTER than that! ....SO WHAT if you have had many girls and your game is soooo "tight". From all that messing around, I hope your D**K FALLS OFF!! I hope you catch AIDS, Gonorrhea, Herpes, and/or Chlamydia, because that is what you DESERVE!

*EXHALE* I am glad to get that out of my system!
Thank you for your time! :D

-Opal Lee

Hip Hop Is Dead Pt. 3

I have noticed that there was a trend that started in the early 2000s when it came to Hip Hop music. My friend called it the "ATL Movement". It all started with Dem Franchise Boys and their song "White Tee". After that song came out, there was a song about a black tee, pink tee, red tee, blue tee, etc. until the tees were all played out.

Hip Hop Is Dead Pt. 2

A couple months ago, I attended a cultural event at my school, entitled "Hip Hop, Misogyny, and Homophobia". It was a cultural event that was divided into two parts. On the first night, we watched the Byron Hurt documentary called "Beyond Beats and Rhymes". On the second night, Joan Morgan, author of the book, When Chickenheads Come Home to Roost, spoke to us about misogyny and how black women would be able to fight against that. Those two nights filled my heart with passion; I wanted to learn more about hip hop and how it affects the lifestyles of some African Americans today.

One of my best male friends told me that "Real music is timeless; it is not a fad". First I want to start with the history of Hip Hop (based from the website wikipedia *I know lol* and http://scaruffi.com/history/cpt417.html). Hip hop was started in the 1970s when they would have block parties in the Bronx, New York and in other poor suburbs, such as in Harlem, Queens, and Brooklyn. It was an evolution of Jamaica's dub music, in which the rapper would record his/her voice over a pre-recorded beat. One of the first rap records were the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight". Soon after, people began putting sociopolitical messages within their songs, such as in Grandmaster Flash's "The Message" (in which he talks about life in "the hood" and how he wonders how he can be so composed when the world around him is in so much chaos) and Public Enemy's "Fight The Power" (in which they talk against racism and white supremacy).

Hip Hop eventually crossed gender lines when MC Lyte came onto the scene. Other female artists soon started to follow suit, such as Queen Latifah with her song "Ladies First" (in which she talks about how great a woman is and that they should be praised). Other artists that entered the Hip Hop world, were De La Soul, A Tribe Called Quest, Jungle Brothers, Ice T, Slick Rick, 2 Live Crew, etc.

Real Hip Hop Music...

1. "[Had] intricate rhythms...[that] was an affirmation of reality"

2. "Was about being a witness"

3. "Was about making storytelling as coldly factual as news reporting"

4. "Conceived art as chaos (of the urban environment)"

While I was talking to that same male friend, I asked him, "Why is it that in 2009, I am still listening to songs that came out in the 90s?" He simple stated, "Because they were creative, original, and consistent." When he said that, we had a 2 hour conversation about Hip Hop. We talked about a few artists and what made their music special and timeless: TLC, Dru Hill, Ginuwine, Jodeci, Tupac, and Destiny's Child. First, my friend told me that all of these artists were controversial. He said that people love controversy; they are drawn to it (like TMZ).

TLC: They were the first r&b girl group with a rapper. They were raw. They came out with "What About Your Friends" and "Ain't Too Proud To Beg" *where they wore crazy colors and condoms on their clothing*

Dru Hill: They had a special man named Sisqo. They had killer vocals and harmonies.

Ginuwine: He was very sexual in his songs, such as in "Pony" (a metaphor), and he would have no shirt on in his videos. He also had mad vocals.

Jodeci: They started the "Ooo yeah". And "Freakin' You" has got to be on everyone's list for a love-making song.

Tupac: He was a thug AND a poet. He did "Dear Mama", which is probably still played every Mother's Day. I also believe Tupac is so great for what he says in the song "Keep Your Head Up", because it is something that we STILL go through today (Misogyny, Rape, Domestic Violence, etc.): "And since we all came from a woman, got a name from a woman, and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think it's time to kill for our women, time to heal our women, be real to our women. And if we don't we'll have a race of babies that will hate the ladies that make the babies. And since a man can't make one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where to create one. So will the REAL men get up, I know you're fed up ladies, but keep your head up!"

Destiny's Child: They were crunk and they started the "independent women" movement.

He also stated how artists can use their music for different outlets. We talked about using music for art versus using it for money. If an artist uses their music as art, then they start movements; they change something and open doors for new artists to come through (window of opportunity). If an artist uses their music for money, then they aren't bringing anything new to the table; they are all talking about the same things (i.e. money, sex, drugs, violence).

Hip Hop Is Dead Pt. 1

This is a strong title, but I have a massive story behind it. So much has been happening to me in such a short amount of time that I just need to vent it all out. I made sure to make everything connect. I'm connecting hip hop to me, my friends, the daily situations I go through, my family, and a recent situation that has changed my life.

Now, there is a certain stigma in relation to African Americans, stating that "Black People Don't Like to Read", well, I am going to make them read, because I see that African Americans now-a-days are stuck in a never-ending cycle, and I truly feel that if we continue to follow the path that we are on, we will not be in existence a century from now, because we would have already killed ourselves off! I want us to succeed as a race and not tear each other down at every chance we get. That's why we are stuck!

First, I would like to post an excerpt from my "Race and Ethnic Relations" paper (that I got an "A" on), in which my topic was on how the stereotypes of African Americans within the media (i.e. television, movies, radio, newspapers, magazines, etc.) contribute greatly to how the race identifies itself...

When I was in high school, I volunteered at the Salvation Army Boys and Girls Club during the summer and throughout the school year. I assisted the children in their social, cultural, and academic development. Although I was never paid for my countless hours of service, I have grown attached to my job; I enjoyed giving the affection, attention, and teachings to these low-income children who needed it to grow into intelligent men and women in this world. I felt that my presence in their lives have helped them to improve in some way, whether it was big or small. While volunteering with these children, there was something that I noticed. During the summer, I remember riding in the van with the children after attending one of our daily activities. The radio was on during our ride back to the institution; it was on a Hip Hop and R&B station. Throughout the whole ride, they sang and/or rapped the lyrics to every song that was played. I giggled the whole way through, but I was amazed at how these 5 and 6 year old kids knew the lyrics to all these songs that even I have not bothered to learn myself. I always wondered if they ever knew what they were saying when they rapped to “Ms. New Booty”. Although they knew the lyrics to these songs, I found that in the classroom, some of the children did not feel motivated to learn how to write simple sentences or even learn how to do basic math problems. I remember one child stating to me that he did not like writing sentences and he thought that it was stupid. Yet, they all think they know about the world around them, which is portrayed through the entertainment world of television.

Along with what I noticed about these young children, who are primarily African American, I noticed something with African American males. Within my town, the teenage males reflect some of what is expressed within current Hip Hop culture. Most of the males degrade women through the cat-calling and the inappropriate groping. They also use derogatory names for females, such as “bitches” and “hos”. Some of the males also sell or use drugs and do not take pride in their education, because they believe they can make it alright “in the streets”. Some males have dropped out of high school or have graduated, but never furthered their education. All these things are characteristics of what is being portrayed in the media when it comes to African American males, as if they are unable to be nothing more than a gangster, rapper, basketball player, pimp, or drug dealer.

Both these observations on African American children and males show that the stereotypical representations within the television media has an effect on what they value and how they make decisions with their lives. The media is poisoning the minds of the African American youth and it needs immediate reform. If there is no change, then it will be a never-ending cycle of living in an unhealthy, uneducated environment that hinders them from economically, socially, and politically advancing in society.

The first thing that triggered the stereotyping of African Americans was blackface performances, also known as minstrel shows. The minstrel shows were created during the 19th century and they were a form of entertainment for whites, in which they “reinforced pernicious racial stereotypes, legitimated racial subjugation, and permitted whites to openly mock and dehumanize African Americans” (Watkins, 2000, p. 76). The minstrel shows were performed by whites who mimicked blacks. They covered their faces with black make-up to present the impression of the skin color of African-Americans and with having large eyes and big lips. They portrayed blacks as being lazy, ignorant, joyful, and musical. This was entertaining for whites, because it reinforces white superiority (McElrath). It was also a form of racism, in which racism is defined as being intentional, obvious acts or attitudes that are rooted in individual prejudice.

Although Minstrelsy has declined during the 20th century, there has been a rebirth of stereotypes of African Americans through the largest area of the media: television. Television is viewed as an influential source of knowledge, and it helps to create viewers’ social truth. But throughout the shows, news, and commercials, stereotypes are formed, and it is identified as “cognitive structures that contain the perceiver’s knowledge, beliefs, and expectancies about some human group.” Stereotypes are not always negative, but when a dominant group controls the media, it can be destructive as to make people within minority groups feel inferior. The images that are formed within the media are, in fact, controlled by white decision makers. African Americans are represented frequently throughout many television programs, but there are portrayals of successful middle-class blacks versus the failure of lower-class blacks. On primetime television, successful blacks are portrayed as attractive and distinctive individuals who have achieved their goals through determination, discipline, talent, and hard work. On newscasts and documentaries, lower-class blacks are depicted as being involved with drugs, crime, and violence. The cultivation theory states that when a person watches television frequently, they are more likely to view these television portrayals as accurate and acceptable. A survey was conducted where Japanese international and White college students completed a questionnaire on what they thought of African Americans based on the television shows that they have seen. They then had to list adjectives of distinctive portrayals of African Americans. Some of the positive attributes the Japanese listed were “humorous”, “athletic”, “musical”, and “good looking”, while whites listed “intelligent”, “hard working”, “successful”, and “family oriented”. Some of the negative attributes the Japanese listed were “loud”, “uneducated”, “violent”, and “poor”, while whites listed “lazy”, “criminal”, and “gang-involved”. The effects of these stereotypes on African Americans are stronger for the Japanese students, because they lack direct contact with them, therefore they compensate by relying on these television portrayals. For the white students, these images may enhance their self and group worth, thus impacting whites’ views. Therefore, television plays a major role in constructing negative stereotypes of African Americans, but if there were a variety of positive qualities, it could greatly reduce the use of those stereotypes (Fujioka, 1999).

Most television news castings create specific portrayals of black men and women when it comes to violence and crime. Meyers (2004) states that “black men and women are…over-represented as criminals [and] under-represented as victims” (p. 97). Black feminist theorists believe that white and male supremacist ideologies are present when black women are stereotyped, which includes “the sexually promiscuous black woman…the mammie and the welfare cheat, as well as the overachieving ‘black lady’ who emasculates the black males in her life” (Meyers, 2004, p. 97). The news also holds women responsible for their own victimization without blaming the actual attacker; the public mostly does not sympathize with black females in terms of rape cases, because they were historically viewed as whores. You can notice this through a follow-up news story that aired in 1996, which concluded the weekend party event called “Freaknik”. The video opened up with a young, white male seated in a car and complaining about how he was unhappy with the event. Then, the video cuts to a black woman holding her clothing across her chest while passing by a group of men. The voice-over throughout the video stated, “From the motorists who were stripped of their rights, to the women who were stripped of their clothes, the fallout from Freaknik ’96 still hangs like a mushroom cloud of anger over the city” (Meyers, 2004, p. 111). This story has equated a motorists’ disapproval to women whose clothes were ripped off their bodies; thus denying the importance and criminality of this form of violence. By portraying that young lady as the “sexually promiscuous” black woman, the news has justified her abuse. The news denied that men had sexually assaulted or raped women, but local males were arrested for fighting, stealing, and for the possession of weapons. Thus, the news held men accountable for crimes that included property, but not for the abuse of black women; the property was more important than a black woman’s safety (Meyers, 2004).

The use of negative stereotypes within the media affects how others view the ethnic group, therefore treating them by how they are portrayed. They also affect the ethnic groups that are being stereotyped; such as how a young, black male may think it is cool to sell drugs because they have seen it on television or how black men may think it is “acceptable” to mistreat a female since the media has not opposed it. If we can rectify this issue, then our society will be able to accept all races and judge a person by their character and not their race and African Americans can get out of that never-ending cycle.

Fujioka, Y. (1999). Television Portrayals and African-American Stereotypes: Examination of Television Effects When Direct Contact is Lacking. Journalism & Mass Communication Quarterly, 76(1), 52-75.

McElrath, J. A Look Back at Minstrelsy. About.com. Retrieved November 19, 2008, from: http://afroamhistory.about.com/od/minstrelsy/a/minstrelsy.htm

Meyers, M. (2004, June). African American Women and Violence: Gender, Race, and Class in the News. Critical Studies in Media Communication, 21(2), 95-118.

Watkins, C. S. (2000, January/February). Raising Cain: Blackface Performance from Jim Crow to Hip Hop. Society, 37(1), 76-77.

The End of the Semester

Wow. Time has flown by so fast! It seems like just yesterday that I was getting off of Christmas break, and now it is almost summer! This semester has been a big learning experience for me. And this blog has helped me in achieving that. I started this blog as a requirement for my social work class. I never really thought of blogging and the real importance of it, but I now view blogging as an essential part to expressing my ideas, thoughts, and opinions, and--most importantly--finding myself.

During this semester, I also realized how much I am capable of when it comes to making a difference in my community through my volunteering experience. I will continue to volunteer next semester, because it makes me feel complete when I know that I am contributing to the well-being of someone else's life. And I think that is the importance of Social Work, because we promote the well-being of other people. We are not selfish people and we are an important component within society. I don't think it matters how much a social worker gets paid, because life is not about money. Life is about finding your true purpose and living a happy life where you feel complete and you are not lost in a web.

I thank my professor, Mr. Kellin, for opening up my mind to new things. I have enjoyed my introductory Social Work courses and I will continue to be the best I can be. I also will continue to write in this blog to express my feelings in hopes of reaching others and gaining new perspectives from other people.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Disabilities

In our class the other day, we talked about disabilities (in general). Our teacher told us that disabilities are 50% biology and 50% adaptation. When people think of a person who is disabled, we think that they aren't able to do anything at all, but there are different variations to a disability.

I know I have seen some stories on television (like on disney channel) where a girl had no arms and legs (i think that was it), but she was able to swim extremely well; probably even better than I can. But although she has this disability, it doesn't mean that she isn't capable of doing things for herself.

I also saw another story where a boy didn't have legs below his knees, but he got prosthetic legs, in which he used to run marathons. Even though he doesn't have his full legs, that does not mean that he isn't capable of walking around.

Also, when I think of disabilities, I think of Ray Charles. He was completely blind, but he was very independent and was a fantastic musician! Just because he was blind, that doesn't meant that he can't be aware of his surroundings.

The level of functioning, which is separated between the two poles of inconvenience and disability, should be measure in capacity (i.e. capacity vs. what they can do). If we can measure this, then we wouldn't have to classify people as disabled and treat them as they are nothing, when they are capable of achieving things.

Sincerely,

Opal Lee

Hospice

For my other Social Work class, I had to do 80 hours of volunteer service. I chose to do mine at Hospice and Community Care. This organization provides emotional, physical, social, and spiritual care to patients who are dealing with a terminal illness (that would only allow them 6 months or less to live) and they provide care to the patients' families as well. Hospice views dying as a natural process that occurs within our lives, therefore they do not try to postpone or hasten the dying process; they cherish the quality of life and they provide comfort to the patients on their last days on earth. Today I finished my 80 hours at Hospice and Community Care. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I worked in the office doing clerical work (such as calling agencies, assisting with data entry and mailing, and organizing files) and on Fridays, I would work in their Resale Shop (where people would donate their unwanted clothes or items, which in turn gets sold for low prices). I learned alot from this experience. I learned how to be a patient, responsible, mature, professional, and flexible person. I also learned how to be open to new kinds of people and ideas. Although, this was a good experience for me, I really wanted to work directly with patients, but I guess I had to start small to learn the true purpose of hospice care in order to move up to working directly with patients. Though, a couple weeks ago, my coordinator did take me to a nursing home to meet some of the patients that are in the transitions program (which prepares patients, who have 12 months or less to live, for hospice care). It was an enlightening experience to see how the patients are living and how to communicate with those who have dementia (and I forgot to mention that through Hospice, I attended training classes to receive my license to work with patients who have dementia).

Since I have already established relationships with the people that work at Hospice and Community Care, I plan on continuing to volunteer there in hopes that I will learn more about the elderly, hospice, and how to care for patients in nursing homes. I hope that this experience will better prepare me to be able to become a Medical Social Worker in the future.

Sincerely,
Opal Lee